PROOFREAD CORRESPONDENCE (Student Handout) 6620 Seminar Practical Exercise #1

Transcription

1 MILITARY CORRESPONDENCE CC6620SPE PROOFREAD CORRESPONDENCE (Student Handout) 6620 Seminar Practical Exercise #1 Objective: The objective of this practical exercise is for students to practice proofreading military correspondence thus demonstrating their understanding of proper standard naval letter format and proper spelling. The format used in standard naval letters is described in the SECNAV Manual the Correspondence Manual which was the reference used for the development of the Prepare Military Correspondence lesson (EPME6121). Instructions to the Student: 1. Review the standard naval letter samples to find errors. Annotate each letter with a description of the errors. 2. An example letter to review is provided on pages 2 and 3 of this PDF. Find the errors on these two pages and then compare what you found with the annotated sample on the 4 th and 5 th pages of this PDF. 3. Now that you have reviewed the sample, review the four standard letters starting on the 6 th page of this PDF. Once all errors have been annotated on these sample letters, save the PDF with a file name of CC6620SPElnamefi.pdf where lnamefi is your last name and initials. 4. Once done with this assignment and the Write an Award Recommendation homework assignment, select the Write an Award Recommendation link in lesson 5 to submit your two files in a single submission. Select Browse My Computer to find and attach this finished file and then do the same for the Write an Award Recommendation assignment. Ensure you do select Submit until both files have been attached. How to Annotate Errors: The naval letter samples were created using Adobe Acrobat and are in portable document format (PDF). Below are two possible methods for completing this assignment. 1. Method 1: Print the sample naval letters, use a pen to identify the errors found, once all errors have been annotated, scan the pages and save it using the above naming standard. It is preferred that scanned images be converted to PDF. 2. Method 2: Use Adobe Acrobat X or Acrobat Professional as described below. Select Comment in the upper right corner. Under Drawing Markups, select the icon for Add text callout. Place your cursor next to the error, holding the left mouse button drag the text box to an area on the page that is free of pre-written text. To adjust the size of the text box, select a side of the text box and drag it. Enter a description of the error, how it should be corrected, and the reference and page number. Once all errors have been noted, save the PDF using the above naming standard.

2 NAVAL LETTER SAMPLE 01 UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS 1ST MARINE DIVISION BOX CAMP PENDLETON CA IN REPLY REFER TO: 5216 G-1 31 Jun 14 From: Commanding General, 1st Marine Division To: Commanding Officer, 5th Marine Regiment Subj: CORRESPONDNCE STANDARDS AND PROCEDURES Ref: (a) MCO B (b) SECNAV M Formally, reference (b) is known as the Department of the Navy (DON) Correspondence Manual or SECNAV M Informally, it is referred to as the DON Correspondence Manual or simply the Correspondence Manual. This manual prescribes uniform standards for the management and preparation of correspondence, and is applicable to all commands and activities of the DON. To a large degree, the image and effectiveness of the DON is portrayed by the tone, quality, and responsiveness of correspondence. Properly written correspondence that clearly and succinctly establishes a position, correctly and completely answers, and conveys the right message, all aid in the effective management and operation of the DON. In order to achieve this, correspondence must be neat in appearance, correctly formatted, error free, and grammatically correct. 2. Per chapter 4 of reference (b), activities will establish procedures for accessing and managing . Among other things, they must: a. Prohibit users from sharing mailboxes or passwords. b. Encourage users to check their mailboxes frequently, but at least twice a day. c. If you are absent for more than three business days, ensure you annotate that in your automated response. Provide a point of contact for s requiring immediate response. d. Provide for periodic review of files to purge, retain, or file as appropriate. 2. Reference (a) is the Marine Corps supplement to the DON Correspondence Manual. Per reference (a), when guidance cannot be found in the DON Correspondence Manual, the following references will be used for preparation of correspondence at Headquarters U.S. Marine Corps (HQMC), fleet organizations, major commands, and activities: a. The U.S. Government Printing Office (GPO) Style Manual a guide for English usage and style. Special capitalization rules are provided on pages 13-1 and 13-2 of reference (a). b. The Word Division Supplement to the GPO Style Manual for proper word division. c. Any standard dictionary. 2

3 SUBJ: CORRESPONDENCE STANDARDS AND PROCEDURES e. The Joint Chiefs of Staff (JCS) Publication 1-02, Department of Defense Dictionary of Military and Associated Terms, the preeminent authority for the definition and usage of military terms. f. MCO P K, Marine Corps Individual Records and Administration Manual (IRAM), the principal reference for abbreviated military terms. g. For policy and guidance on the lifecycle management of Marine Corps correspondence, refer to MCO F, Marine Corps Records Management, and SECNAV M , the Department of the Navy Records Management Program. 3. Point of contact is Captain M. R. Jones at or Copy: HQBN (S-1) R. V. BURGIN By billet 2

4 CORRESPONDENCE is misspelled. UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS 1ST MARINE DIVISION BOX CAMP PENDLETON CA From: Commanding General, 1st Marine Division To: Commanding Officer, 5th Marine Regiment Subj: CORRESPONDNCE STANDARDS AND PROCEDURES Ref: (a) MCO B (b) SECNAV M NAVAL LETTER SAMPLE 01 Since there is only 30 days in June, this should read 30 Jun vice 31 Jun. IN REPLY REFER TO: 5216 G-1 31 Jun 14 Per SECNAV M , p. 7-6, references will be listed in the order they appear in the text. Since the SECNAV manual is cited first in the text, it should be listed as reference (a), and the MCO should be reference (b). Since this is the first reference cited in the letter, it should be reference (a). 1. Formally, reference (b) is known as the Department of the Navy (DON) Correspondence Manual or SECNAV M Informally, it is referred to as the DON Correspondence Manual or simply the Correspondence Manual. This manual prescribes uniform standards for the management and preparation of correspondence, and is applicable to all commands and activities of the DON. To a large degree, the image and effectiveness of the DON is portrayed by the tone, quality, and responsiveness of correspondence. Properly written correspondence that clearly and succinctly establishes a position, correctly and completely answers, and conveys the right message, all aid in the effective management and operation of the DON. In order to achieve this, correspondence must be neat in appearance, correctly formatted, error free, and grammatically correct. 2. Per chapter 4 of reference (b), activities will establish procedures for accessing and managing . Among other things, they must: a. Prohibit users from sharing mailboxes or passwords. b. Encourage users to check their mailboxes frequently, but at least twice a day. c. If you are absent for more than three business days, ensure you annotate that in your automated response. Provide a point of contact for s requiring immediate response. d. Provide for periodic review of files to purge, retain, or file as appropriate. Since this is the second reference cited in the letter, it should be reference (b). 2. Reference (a) is the Marine Corps supplement to the DON Correspondence Manual. Per reference (a), when guidance cannot be found in the DON Correspondence Manual, the following references will be used for preparation of correspondence at Headquarters U.S. Marine Corps (HQMC), fleet organizations, major commands, and activities: a. The U.S. Government Printing Office (GPO) Style Manual a guide for English usage and style. Special capitalization rules are provided on pages 13-1 and 13-2 of reference (a). b. The Word Division Supplement to the GPO Style Manual for proper word division. c. Any standard dictionary. 2

5 SUBJ: CORRESPONDENCE STANDARDS AND PROCEDURES e. The Joint Chiefs of Staff (JCS) Publication 1-02, Department of Defense Dictionary of Military and Associated Terms, the preeminent authority for the definition and usage of military terms. f. MCO P K, Marine Corps Individual Records and Administration Manual (IRAM), the principal reference for abbreviated military terms. These subparagraphs should read d, e, and f. g. For policy and guidance on the lifecycle management of Marine Corps correspondence, refer to MCO F, Marine Corps Records Management, and SECNAV M , the Department of the Navy Records Management Program. 3. Point of contact is Captain M. R. Jones at or Copy: HQBN (S-1) R. V. BURGIN By billet Per SECNAV M , pp. 2-4, 2-5, 7-14, type the term By direction below the name when using delegated signature authority. Per SECNAV M , p. 7-14, when using the Copy To line, type Copy to: at the left margin on the second line below the signature line. 2

6 NAVAL LETTER SAMPLE 02 UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS 2ND MARINE LOGISTICS GROUP PSC BOX CAMP LEJUENE NC IN REPLY REFER TO: G-1 17 Aug 13 From: Commanding General, 2nd Marine Logistics Group To: Command Officer, Combta Logistics Regiment 27 Subj: GENERAL NAVAL CORRESPONDENCE MANAGEMANT, STANDARDS, AND PROCEDURES Ref: (a) SECNAV M (b) SECNAV M Encl: (1) 2ND MLG G-1 ltr 5216 of 5 Jan 13 (2) DC M&RA ltr 5210 of 21 May Reference (a) states that to a large degree, the image and effectiveness of the Department of the Navy is portrayed by the tone, quality, and responsiveness of correspondence. Properly written correspondence that clearly and succinctly establishes a position, correctly and completely answers questions, and conveys the right message, all aid in the effective management and operation of the Departmant of the Navy. In order to achieve this, correspondence must: a. Be neat in appearance, correctly formatted, error free, and grammatically correct. All correspondence should be free of typographical errors and technically correct before signed. Enclosure (1) gives more information on correspondence format. b. Avoid stereotyping men and women based on gender. Use pronouns and titles that are gender natural. 2. Standard subject identification codes are required on all Navy and Marine Corps letters, messages, directives, forms, and reports, regardless of medium. See enclossure (3) for more information. 3. The point of contact for this matter is Captain H. R. Smith at (910) or henry.smith99@usmc.mil. E. HAMMEL By direction

7 NAVAL LETTER SAMPLE 03 DEPARTMENT OF THE NAVY 3D BATTALION 12TH MARINES UNIT FPO AP IN REPLY REFER TO: S Oct 13 From: Commanding Officer, 3rd Battalion, 12th Marine Regiment To: Commanding General, III Marine Expeditionary Force Via: (1) Commanding Officer, 12th Marine Regiment, 3d Marine Division (2) Commanding General, 3d Marine Division, III Marine Expeditionary Force Subj: REQUEST FOR DRILL INSTRUCTOR DUTY ASSIGNMENT, CASE OF SERGEANT MICHAEL A. MOORE EDIPI: /0844 USMC Ref: (A) MCO P1300.8R (B) MCO P1326.6D Encl: Commanding Officer s Screening, Drill Instructor Duty 1. Per reference (a), Sergeant Moore is hihgly recommended for assignment to drill instructor duty. Due to operational commitments, it is recommended that Sergeant Moore be assigned to a drill instructor class after 1 Jan 13. Sergeant Moore will be six months short of having the minimum of 36 months on station. Recommend approval of his time on station waiver request. 2. The enclosure is provided per reference (b). Sergeant Moore is fully qualified for this special duty assignment. 3. Sergeant Moore is a career Marine and has the required minimum of 24 months obligated service. He has been previously screened for recruiting duty and found disqualified. 4. Point of contact is Sergeant Major E. B. Sledge at Copy to: SNM KAPLAN, R. D.

8 NAVAL LETTER SAMPLE 04 UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS MARINE CORPS BASE BOX CAMP PENDLETON, CA IN REPLY REFER TO: Jul 14 CIS From: To: Assistant Chief of Staff, Communications and Information Systems Department, Marine Corps Base, Camp Pendleton Commanding Officer, 9th Communication Battaluon Subject: LETTER OF APPRECIATION, CASE OF SERGEANT JAMES C. SMITH /2847 USMC 1. On behalf of the Communications and Information Systems Department, I want to express my appreciation for the great job and support that Sergeant Jeremiah C. Smith of 9th Communication Battalion gave this command. Sergeant Smith was instrumental in our efforts to convert Oceanside city telephone trunks to Primary Rate Interface (PRI) circuits. His efforts covered a period of three weeks of gathering circuit information and compiling the necessary requirements for the conversion process. 3. During this time, Sergeant Smith displayed exceptional professionalism, unending resourcefulness, attentiun to details, and courteous customer support. His contributions to the success of our upgrade were invaluable in the accomplishment of our mission. We take pleasure in commending Sergeant Smith for a job well done. 4. Again, I am extremely pleased to offer my appreciation for Sergeant Smith s support of the Communications and Informatuon Systems Department, Marine Corps Base, Camp Pendleton. S. W. CROWELL 1

9 NAVAL LETTER SAMPLE 05 (p. 1 of 6) UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS HEADQUARTERS AND SERVICE BATTALION MARINE CORPS BASE UNIT FPO AP Apr 08 IN REPLY REFER TO: 3500 S-3 From: Commanding Officer, Headquarters and Service Battalion, Marine Corps Base, Camp Smedley D. Butler To: Distribution List Subj: LETTER OF INSTRUCTION, BATTALION CONDITIONING HIKE SCHEDULED FOR 25 APRIL 2009 Ref: (A) NAVMC Encl: (1) Gear List (2) Route Map (4) ORM Worksheet 1. Situation. Publish instructions in preparation for the subject conditioning hike. 2. Mission. On 25 April 2009 at 0500 aboard Marine Corps Base (MCB), Camp Foster, Headquarters and Service Battalion will conduct a 12-mile conditioning hike, in order to improve warfighting skills, instill camaraderie, and build teamwork. 3. Execution a. Commander s Intent. My intent is to physically challenge and motivate the Marines of this battalion in order to enhance their esprit de corps. b. Concept of Operations. On 25 April, from , the battalion staff and the two companies will participate in a conditioning hike. (1) At 0430, the battalion will form-up at the battalion PT field in preparation for the hike. An immediate gear and water check will be conducted. At 0500, the Commanding Officer will lead the battalion in the 12-mile hike, with Alpha Company heading the column. About 10 minutes into the hike, the battalion will stop to adjust equipment if needed. (2) At the halfway point, the battalion will take a 20-minute break for water replenishment and another gear check. Bravo Company will head the column back to the assembly area. Once back at the assembly area, the two companies will get into formation, get an accountability check and have a corpsman walk through the ranks to check for injuries. c. Tasks (1) Alpha/Bravo Company (a) Disseminate the details of the event.

10 NAVAL LETTER SAMPLE 05 (p. 2 of 6) (b) Provide (5) Marines from each company to be road guards. (c) Provide (1) driver from each company for the safety vehicles. (d) Ensure that all Marines participating in the hike have the required gear as described in enclosure (1). (2) S-3 (a) Publish the letter of instruction and schedule. (b) Submit request for (2) corpsman support. (c) Reference (a) provides details on the "conduct combat conditioning" Training and Readiness (T&R) event. (3) S-4 (a) Ensure a water-bull/station is staged at the halfway point as designated in enclusure (2). Ensure foam cups are available. (b) Provide enough fruit to be served at the halfway point. (b) Provide (5) five-gallon water containers (filled with water) to be carried in one of the support vehicles. (c) Provide (2) vehicles to use as safety vehicles. (d) Provide reflective vests & flashlights for road guards. (e) Provide (8) radios to be used during the hike. d. Coordinating Instructions (1) Corpsmen will be located in the two safety vehicles at the rear of the formation. (2) Radios will use the Camp Foster, Camp Services assigned frequency. (3) Point of contsct for this training evolution is the Operations Officer, Mr. Nelson at Administration and Logistics a. Uniform. The uniform for this event will be utilities (sleeves down) with soft cover and other gear designated in enclosure (1). 2

11 NAVAL LETTER SAMPLE 05 (p. 3 of 6) Subj: LETTER OF INSTRUCTION, BATTALION CONDITIONING HIKE SCHEDULED FOR 25 APRIL 2009 b. Water. Every Marine is required to have two canteens filled with water. A refilling source will be at the halfway point to provide additional water. c. Transporation. Safrty vehicles will be staged at the battalion PT field on Camp Foster by 0430 on 25 April Command and Signal a. Command. The contents of this LOI are applicable to all personnel assigned or attached to Headquarters and Service Battalion, Marine Corps Base. Enclosure (2) is the operational risk management worksheet. b. Signal. This instruction is effective on the date signed. Distribution: Bn Staff offices Co A Co B Foster Camp Services MCCS Base Safety MCB C/S R. B. JONES Provisional 3

12 NAVAL LETTER SAMPLE 05 (p. 4 of 6) GEAR LIST 1. DAY PACK W/HYDRATION SYSTEM (CAMELBACK) OR TWO (2) CANTEENS W/COVERS INSIDE DAY PACK. 2. SET OF UTILITIES W/CHEVRONS (1) INSIDE DAY PACK 3. WEXTRA PAIR OF BOOTS W/SOCKS (1) INSIDE DAY PACK 4. INDIVIDUAL FIRST AID KIT (IFAK) - INSIDE DAY PACK 5. REFLECTIVE BELT - AROUND THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY PACK 6. ID CARD AND ID TAGS (DOG TAGS) Enclosure (1)

13 NAVAL LETTER SAMPLE 05 (p. 5 of 6) ROUTE MAP Enclosure (2)

14 NAVAL LETTER SAMPLE 05 (p. 6 of 6) OPERATIONAL RISK MANAGEMENT WORKSHEET Mission, Operation or Task Mission Start Date Date Prepared Battalion Conditioning Hike 25APR09 16APR09 Prepared By: MSgt Edward P. Smith OVERALL RISK LEVEL AFTER CONTROLS ARE IMPLEMTED: RAC 4 MINOR Step 1 Identify Hazard Conditioning Hike Step 2 Assess Hazard (RAC) Step 3a Develop Controls Step 3b Residual Risk (RAC) Step 4 How to Implement Slip/Trip/Falls (III/B) 3 -Route reconnaissance -Caution -Moderate distance -Watch where you are marching 4 (III/C) Training LOI/SOP Safety Briefs Heat Casualties (I/B) 2 -Hydration -Wear proper clothing -Heat casualty training by BAS -Ensure presence of corpsman -Train during Green Flag conditions -One corpsmen will ride in each of the two safety vehicles -Water-filled cooler available in safety vehicles -Stage water-bull station at half-way point 3 (II/C) Training Supervision Small Unit Leadership Sprains/Broken Bones (III/B) 3 -Avoid rough terrain -Slow pace when visibility reduced -Route reconnaissance 4 (III/C) Instructor Supervision Rehersals Training Safety Briefs Hypothermia (II/C) 3 -Proper hydration -Proper clothing -Minimize time Marines are standing around after the hike is completed 5 (IV/D) Small Unit Leadership Safety Brief/Class by BAS Enclosure (3)