Acts of Radical Self-Care March/April 2017 Preventing Caregiver Burnout By Lindsay Kwan The Family Caregivers Grapevine A publication by the NSCR Caregiver Support Program renew strength, gain knowledge When we face the demands of caregiving, we can easily put our own needs aside while we focus on our carepartner s health. Over time, these small sacrifices and large demands can add up until the caregiver reaches a deep-seated exhaustion at the physical, mental, and emotional level, or in other words, burnout. When we are burnt out, we experience many physical symptoms. We wake up feeling depleted of energy and find it impossible to fully restore. We may be dependent on sleep aids in order to get rest or be unintentionally self-medicating with alcohol. Because our bodies feel run down, we also become more susceptible to getting sick. Emotional and mental burnout accompanies the exhaustion our physical bodies experience. We swing between high and low emotions. We may feel anxious or depressed, which is increased by our lack of sleep. We may also lose interest in activities as nothing is sparking a sense of joy. Instead, we feel numb or angry that our life feels out of our control. We may also have difficulty retaining information and remembering details during burnout. Our organizational skills begin to deteriorate and we feel we are in midst of disorder. We may also have a hard time focusing on tasks, so burnout seems insurmountable. The enormous demands placed upon caregivers can result in their own serious illnesses, wrote Leeza Gibbons in her book, Take Your Oxygen First (available in the NSCR library). The long-term effects of burnout can take a toll on the caregiver`s health so that they are no longer able to care for their loved ones. The more depleted we feel from caregiving, the more we need to protect our time for self-care to ensure that we will be healthy enough to manage the caregiving role. Our mind-body connection is strong which means that our physical, emotional, and mental selves benefit when we make healthy gains in any one area. If you are experiencing any one of these symptoms, it is time to start making self-care a priority. Here are several ways to prevent caregiver burnout: Practise Radical Self-Care During challenging times, we need to practise radical self-care, which means our wellness becomes our top priority. The reason why we call it radical self-care is that we require strong boundaries to ensure our physical, emotional, and mental needs are
March/April 2017 Page 2 being met. We need to say no to added responsibilities even if we feel it is our turn to carry the burden. Go On Auto-Pilot Once you are feeling the symptoms of burnout, your body s alarm system is easily triggered into panic, so systems and routines can allow us to go into automatic mode. An established routine can help to simplify and provide order to your day, whereas automating tasks can conserve your energy. For instance, automating bill payments can reduce the stress over late payments. When we automate tasks, we are freeing the mental space that was used to juggle all these details. Deepen Your Sleep If you wake up frequently in the night or wake up feeling depleted, you are not reaching the bodyrestoring state of sleep. To prevent burnout, we need to work on our sleep hygiene. First, take the electronics out of the bedroom to make it a sleep sanctuary. Secondly, incorporate a sleep ritual before a set bedtime like a warm bath an hour before your 10 pm bedtime. By making time to wind down, you are signaling to your body it is time to sleep. Eat Well To Energize Feeling tired, depressed, and short on time can increase our desire to reach for quick meal solutions. Often these are comfort foods like a cheesy lasagna. Then once we ve indulged, we experience the major energy slump that follows. Food, in reality, should fuel us, rather than make us tired. Eating a healthy salad for lunch, for instance, can energize us for the afternoon, whereas a burger makes us want a nap. We also obtain more nutrients which can improve our overall feelings of wellness when we start eating better. Be Your Own Cheerleader Positive reinforcement can go a long way, but caregiving can often feel like a thankless job. Since we often do not have someone telling us what a great job we did, we need to be our own cheerleader. What do you appreciate about yourself today? What personal successes can you identify this month? Make sure you are celebrating your victories, and find ways to reward yourself in ways that honours your self-care, like making yourself a hair appointment. As caregiver burnout begins to set in, these habitual patterns can make a big difference in your health. Notice how you much better you feel when you make one nourishing decision, in order to reinforce these new self-care habits. Self-Care Resources Take Your Oxygen First [NSCR Library Book] by Leeza Gibbons, James Huysman, & Rosemary DeAngelis Laird. Goodnight Mind: Turn Off Your Noisy Thoughts & Get a Good Night`s Sleep [NSCR Library Book] by Colleen E. Carney & Rachel Manber. The Importance of Self-Care [TedTalk Video Playlist] https://www.ted.com/ playlists/299/the_importance_of_self_care
The Family Caregivers Grapevine Page 3 March 2017 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat 1 2 Network 7-9PM 3 4 5 6 7 8 Network 10:30AM- 12:30PM 12 13 14 15 Communication 101 7-9PM 9 10 11 16 17 18 19 20 21 Persian 26 27 Walk & Talk 1:30-3PM Caregiver 5-7PM 22 Planning Presentation 11:30AM- 12:30PM 23 24 25 28 29 30 31 Network s Thursday, March 2 & April 6 at 7PM Wednesday, March 8 & April 12 at 10:30AM Walk and Talk Upcoming walks: Monday, March 27 and April 24 New date! Every 4 th Monday of the month at 1:30PM. Join us for the company, fresh air, and some gentle exercise. We walk at a pace that is comfortable for everyone. We meet in front of the washrooms at John Lawson Park in West Vancouver. Rain or shine! Communication 101: Balancing Compassion and Self-Care Wednesday March 15 from 7-9PM Capilano Mall Room #203 935 Marine Drive, North Vancouver Explore how family communication dynamics from the past can cause guilt and resentment in your role now; how to make healthy boundaries and respect what you can do; understand what situations cause you to feel upset or overwhelmed; and find ways to spend meaningful time with your loved one. Our guest speaker Catherine Pigeon James is a psychotherapist, registered clinical counsellor and social worker. She works with an out-patient mental health program at the Hope Centre.
March/April 2017 Page 4 For registration and information on all sessions, contact Karyn by email at karyn.davies@nscr.bc.ca or by phone at 604-982-3320. Persian Caregiver Tuesday March 21 from 5-7PM. 3 rd Floor Meeting Room North Vancouver City Library 120 West 14 th Street Join us for a NowRuz celebration! There will be a potluck meal, music and dancing, along with a short presentation on love, forgiveness and the history of NowRuz. Non-Persian speaking caregivers are welcome to attend, and translation for the presentation will be provided. Planning for Financial & Legal Matters Wednesday March 22 from 11:30AM-12:30PM In person: Capilano Mall, Room 203 935 Marine Drive, North Vancouver Natural Ways to Boost Energy & Reduce Stress Wednesday April 19 from 10:30AM-12:30PM Capilano Mall Room #203 935 Marine Drive, North Vancouver Feeling run down, stressed, or anxious? In this session, you will learn: How stress affects your body and the role hormones play in the stress response How to care for yourself while caring for others easy and practical lifestyle tips that you can implement immediately to help restore your energy How to support your adrenal glands to better cope with stress and what supplements or herbs may be beneficial to you Dr. Ann Grimwood is a licensed Naturopathic Physician at Restoration Health Clinic. Her areas of focus include women s health, autoimmune and chronic illness, and mental wellness. Dr. Grimwood firmly believes that healthy living begins with a healthy mindset. Join us for a 1-hour webinar presentation put on by NI- DUS Resource Centre. Enduring Powers of Attorney or a Representation Agreement with authority for routine finances are legal documents in BC that adults may use to plan for incapacity, end-of-life, and other support needs, as well as adult guardianship which is known as committeeship in BC. There will be a debrief after the session for those attending in person. If you would like to participate online instead, register here: https:// attendee.gotowebinar.com/ register/54431702859553027 BC Family Caregiver Week Details to be announced. Did you know there is a special week designated to recognizing family caregivers? The 2 nd Annual Caregiver Expo will happen in early May, along with some other happenings. Stay tuned for details!
The Family Caregivers Grapevine Page 5 specialists, pharmacists, dentists, and other practitioners and their relevant contact information in one place, you won t have to go searching for it in a time of need. A Working Filing System Navigating the Health Care System : Organizational Systems for Caregivers By Lindsay Kwan Keeping medical records organized for your loved one is an important task to effectively navigate the health care system. Organized records ensure that you can identify and communicate information to health professionals with ease. It also means you can followup on action items like specialist referrals or medicaltest results. Here are some essential components of a working organizational system that may be of use to caregivers: A Reliable Calendar Some caregivers swear by web calendars like those from Google or Apple that synch with their phone and can be shared with family members; Other caregivers rely on their print calendars or agenda books because of their ease of use (zero frustrating technological glitches!). Whichever way you prefer, make your calendar work for you by including all medical appointments, prescription refills, necessary tasks, and even time for self-care into your calendar so that you have access to this information at hand. An Essential Contact List A contact list can be a handy tool if it is kept up to date. By listing all your loved one s medical doctors, For those who are technologically savvy, a folder on your tablet or phone with scanned copies of all your loved one s documents can be easily accessed. For others, they may prefer a paper trail using a binder or a file folder. Include your contact list, a list of medications and dosages, copies of your loved one s care card, extended health coverage, medical reports, and any other important documents in this information destination. An Insightful Care Journal Spending a few minutes to recount how your loved one was managing that day can help you see long-term trends or short-term issues with clarity. You can also take your care journal to doctor s appointments to make notes of recommendations or action items so that you can recall these details at a later time. The care journal provides caregivers with a way to record information that is both simple and quick to maintain Do It All With An App Technology can be incredibly useful to the caregiver. Nowadays, there are many apps that incorporate all these organizational tools. Some recommended apps include Carezone and Unfrazzle. A good organizational system helps to relieve caregiver stress by providing a sense of order in chaos. When you become overwhelmed, the best thing to do is to spend time organizing in order to gain a handle on your priorities. When you create a system that is manageable, you can also pass off essential caregiving information on short notice to another person for some muchneeded assistance.
March/April 2017 Page 6 Caregiver Contribution At Peace in a Home Away From Home By Kate The dreaded day arrived when my beloved husband, Henry would be moving into residential care. Hard to believe his dementia was carrying him away from me. Henry was diagnosed in 2011. My son and I cared for him at home for almost five years. The turning point was a fall. Luckily nothing broken, but pain and the inability to get out of bed indicated the time had come for me to research transitioning him into residential care, an act I could never have envisioned doing. Henry was now missing his social life at the Day Centre and two other programs we attended together. I witnessed his spirit declining. This insight was heartbreaking due to the realization we would be separated from our close and loving life together. We talked about the transition details. He was willing to move, given his understanding that he needed more care than my son and I could provide. Henry s gift to me was his total acceptance of his dementia, always patient and never complaining. My concerns of falling out of love with him, due to his new identity never materialized. Quite the opposite, our love deepened. I was fortunate, my first choice of residence became available four days after contacting our Case Manager. Through my tears I accepted. Henry quickly adapted to his new home. Wonderful staff, three friendly roommates, activities, plenty of socializing and fun. Best of all, he regained his spirit within his new community. As for myself, seeing the many positives" due to the transition, my life has become far more relaxed. His home has become my second home. I look forward to the three times weekly visits, engaging with the staff and residents. I ve created activities we enjoy together, exercises, mind games, lots of singing and listening to our CD s from home. Seeing his face light up on my arrival brings me such joy. I m generous with touch, hugs and kisses and when asking him Do you get enough? his reply, I sure do, but I don t need quite so many love his sense of humour! So far, during his first year away, I ve had no complaints re his care. We re both at peace in his home away from home. I feel blessed and have much gratitude as Henry and I journey on. "It's not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and to make your happiness a priority. It's necessary. Mandy Hale
The Family Caregivers Grapevine Page 7 April 2017 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat 1 2 3 4 5 6 Network 9 10 11 12 Network 10:30AM- 12:30PM 16 17 Easter Monday NSCR office closed 23/30 24 Walk & Talk 1:30-3PM 18 Persian Caregiver 5-7PM 19 Natural Ways to Boost Energy 10:30AM- 12:30PM 7-9PM 7 8 13 14 Good Friday NSCR office closed 15 20 21 22 25 26 27 28 29 Gratitude Corner Deeply Appreciating Yourself Where and when do you shine? Even for seasoned gratitude practitioners, identifying personal strengths can be a challenge. We often look for external validation of our positive attributes and even downplay compliments when they are given to us. This gratitude exercise is about deeply appreciating yourself. Take a pen and a piece of paper and number 1-10 down the margin. Now for each point, identify an attribute, strength, or quality that you appreciate about yourself. Every day, review your list and add one more item. You can turn these into an affirmation or you can post the list in a place that you can refer back to when you are feeling particularly low, giving yourself reason to shine.
March/April 2017 Page 8 North Shore Community Resources Caregiver Support Program 201-935 Marine Drive North Vancouver, BC V7P 1S3 We publish this bi-monthly newsletter on topics related to self-care and the caregiving role. You can support the work we do by joining NSCR s Caring Community, our donor program. 3 Steps to Stress Relief By Calm Pond, A Caregiver & NSCR Volunteer Once you truly know that life is difficult, then it is difficult no longer. Joni Eareekson Tada Here are some things to say to yourself when you are stressed: 1. This is a moment of suffering. 2. Life is full of suffering. 3. Let me be kind to myself in this moment. From: Mindful Compassion by Paul Gilbert and Choden Thank you to everyone who has made a donation. Contact Nancy Hollstedt to make a charitable donation: Telephone: 604.982.3311 Email: nancy.hollstedt@nscr.bc.ca CRA#11906 1273 RR0001 To calm yourself: 1. Place right hand on heart. 2. Place left hand on abdomen. 3. Take 3 deep calming breaths. From: Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain by Dan Siegel This article was originally posted here: https://northvancaregivers.wordpress.com/2016/11/03/3- easy-steps-for-stress-relief/